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    First Thessalonians 4:1-8 admonishes us not to wrong or "defraud" our brother or sister by implying a marital level of commitment (through sexual involvement) when it does not exist.As I've discussed before, a broad (but sound) implication of this passage is that "defrauding" could include inappropriate emotional — as well as physical — intimacy. Wary of how these friendships can turn into romances and affairs, plenty of evangelicals advise against them.At a recent Southern Baptist conference on sexuality, pastor Kie Bowman suggested men not "get in a car (alone) with woman who is not your wife unless she's your mother's age." On the other end of the spectrum, Christian writers like Dan Brennan and Jonalyn Fincher argue that "cross-sex friendships" are worth the risk, even if one or both of the friends are married.So is the trend toward intimate friendships between single men and women a good thing? If you haven't read my previous articles on biblical dating, you'll be helped in thinking through this issue by reading "Biblical Dating: How It's Different From Modern Dating." Based on some of the principles found there, let me offer a couple of practical reasons why I believe such friendships to be generally unwise, and then I'll suggest a positive role for friendship among singles in the Christian community.In this series of articles, I've raised several biblical principles regarding the way we should treat our brothers and sisters in Christ.You can be open to no-strings-attached sex but still want to be just friends.

    “I am sure the media hype up sex differences in sexual interest,” Hart says.

    “Women are more likely than men to see their OSF as a source of ‘protection,’ and sometimes also as a backup mate should things fall through with her primary partner, or as a ‘last resort,’” Buss says.

    These ‘functions’ or ‘mechanisms’, as Buss describes them, are going on in the background, playing out a game of chess on a evolutionary scale, attempting to put the pawns in place to, literally, win the game of life. “At some level, many or most of these functions are “ultimately” tributary to sex or reproductive success, or at least have been historically,” Buss says.

    From my experiences, I know that I’m in the minority.

    I know that it took me years to get to the point where I didn’t need to sleep with every hot girl I knew.

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      Christian dating does not consist of casual dating, which is unbiblical. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs. To marry and be a representation of Christ and the church. “Oh Lord I want to love and lay down my life for someone just like you loved and laid down your life for me.”Are you able to leave your mother and father? The love between a father and his daughter is so great. Imagine His seriousness if you lead His daughter down the wrong path. Honor them as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing may interfere with your prayers. If you feel the temptation just stop don’t lie to yourself. Kissing for a long period of time with someone who you are not married to is wrong, it is a form of foreplay, and it will cause you to fall. Waiting and disciplining yourself in many areas will make your sexual relationship in marriage more unique, special, godly, and intimate. This is something that you should really pray about and listen to the Lord. I’ve heard some guys say, “I can handle it I’m strong enough.” No you’re not! If God blesses you with a very beautiful godly woman or handsome man that is OK, but looks are not everything. Look for godliness because a husband is to one day be your spiritual leader.


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